So I’ve been hearing a lot of people say that last night’s season 6 premiere was confusing – and not just because of the fact that it’s Lost and therefore it must not make sense, but because they have forgotten what happened in the last couple of seasons.
So if you missed last night’s recap show or if you just want another refresher course, here are my notes.
All these dudes and dudettes crash on an island (duh). The island is weird because it’s tropical but there are polar bears and a monster that looks like a big cloud of smoke. There’s also a big ship in the middle of the island, and some other people (both dead and alive) who have been stranded there at other points throughout history. They try to get rescued but no one comes. Jack, the doctor, tries to save everyone and usually succeeds (a few exceptions: Joanna, Boone, Scott and/or Steve). Other important characters to keep in mind include: Kate (the criminal), Sawyer (the con man), Sayid (the torturer), John Locke (the guy who always talks about destiny), Michael and Walt (the father/son duo), Jin and Sun (the Koreans), Boone and Shannon (the incestual step-siblings), Claire (the preggo), Charlie (the rockstar junkie), and Hurley (the guy who always says “Dude”). They also try to build a raft to get off the island but some other people who already live on the island (the others) foil this plan and steal Walt.
John Locke found this secret hatch and he and Jack go inside. They find the Scottish hunk, Desmond, inside. He leaves until the end of the season, but that means Jack and John have to press this button every 108 minutes to save the world. Meanwhile, the guys from the raft have been captured by who they think are the others, but it turns out they are just more survivors from the tail section of the plane. They go back and hang out with the rest of the survivors. Ana Lucia is like their leader but she’s a little over zealous with the gun (but we forgive her when she shoots Shannon because no one liked her anyway). Mr. Eko is a priest/former drug dealer. And Libby is a clinical psychologist who gets a little friendly with Hurley. Then this guy Ben, who says his name is Henry but it’s really not, gets captured by this crazy chick Danielle, and he goes and hangs out in the hatch with John and Jack. Michael leaves to go look for Walt, then he comes back later and shoots Ana Lucia and Libby and lets Ben go back to the others. Then he convinces Jack, Kate and Sawyer to go with him to the others’ camp and they get kidnapped. Then Michael and Walt peace out and take this crappy little boat off the island. Also, Desmond comes back and he has to blow up the hatch because John decided to stop pressing the button. Oh, and there’s this statue (or part of one) that’s a foot with only four toes.
Jack is being held in a dolphin tank and he gets sandwiches every day from Juliet, who is this blond fertility doctor other. Kate and Sawyer are also being held captive, but they just hang out in cages and do it. A bunch of other stuff happens with the others. Some people die and Sawyer gets beat up a lot. It turns out they’re really on a different island altogether, and Kate and Sawyer are just supposed to break a lot of rocks while Ben convinces Jack to remove the tumor from his spine. After he does, he’s supposed to be able to leave the island on a submarine, but John comes to “save” Jack and he blows up the sub. There is an other named Richard Alpert who is introduced. He wears a lot of eyeliner and never ages and is totally mysterious and badass. There are also these two weirdos named Nicky and Paulo who interrupt the show for an entire episode while they whine a lot and make crazy plots and eventually get buried alive. Can’t say I’m too broken up about that one.
Some of the survivors left the island. Jack, Kate, Sun, Sayid, Hurley, and Claire’s baby Aaron get rescued. We know this at the beginning but we clearly can’t find out how that happened until the end. So basically, Charles Widmore (Desmond’s long lost love Penny’s father and Ben’s arch nemesis) sends a boat to the island and some people are on it. There are scientists (Daniel Faraday), Vigilantes (Naomi and those dudes who shoot Ben’s Daughter), ghost whisperers (Miles), annoying red heads (Charlotte), and Traitors (Michael). They say they’re there to help, but they’re really not. A lot of debate happens. John and Jack split up and the survivors have to choose between their metaphorical divorcing parents. This awesome bearded man named Frank takes some of them up on a chopper. Sawyer jumps out to make it lighter, then when they make it to the boat it blows up. So they head back to the island but when they get there it disappears. Turns out Ben moved it. So the chopper crashes into the ocean and somehow they are all unharmed from this ordeal. Then Desmond’s girl Penny shows up and saves them. Back in the real world. Jack is a junkie and has a gnarly beard, Sayid is a hitman, Hurley is back in the loony bin, Sun is angry because she believes Jin is dead, and Kate is playing mommy to Aaron.
All the people on the island are moving through time and Charlotte gets these headaches and nosebleeds and eventually croaks. Daniel Faraday tries to figure all of it out, but his mind is a little too complex for the rest of the Losties so no one really knows what is going on (including the people watching), but they just go with it and hope it all works out. John Locke goes off the island to convince the Oceanic 6 to come back but Ben kills him. Apparently, this convinces them and they come back by taking another plane over the Pacific and it crashes too. Somehow, the crash forces some of the survivors to crash in the present and some of them to crash back in the 70’s, which is where Sawyer, Juliet, Miles and Jin are hanging out with the Dharma Initiative. Kate, Jack and Hurley disguise as Dharma folk and hang out there for awhile, but Sayid is labeled a hostile and he tries to shoot young Ben but it doesn’t work. (These sentences are incredibly long and nonsensical because that’s how watching this season felt). Ben and Sun and Frank are all stuck in the present, and John Locke appears to have risen from the dead but he’s really this guy who hates Jacob and wants to kill him. He convinces Ben to do it though. Somewhere along the line there is a hydrogen bomb and at the end they decide to blow it up so that none of these shenanigans ever happen.